The only person who deserves my vote is me

This election season, I propose you vote for yourself.  You are a different, special kind of politician.  As such, you shall head the Committee on Action, the committee where things go to get done.  First up on your agenda: planning the obsolesce of planned obsolesce.

Grandma’s freezer lasted 50 years.  Today, your fridge will experience some catastrophic mechanical failure that, according to Sears, costs more to fix one broken rubber gasket than to throw the whole fridge away and buy another.  Such asinine behavior is no match for you, since, as a member of the Committee on Action, you lodge your attack from all angles.

Instead of subsidizing ineffective recycling programs that use more resources than they save and make more pollution than they reduce, you reuse what you can, refuse to buy things that are overtly over-packaged, and compost your organic materials. In fact, you buy things that can be re-used and ignore the convenience of disposable, since, as you know, no convenience is without cost.  You have a library card because, like your time, your books are borrowed.

You are the politician who refuses campaign contributions.  Perhaps your time and your reputation can be bought.  But your children’s well-being cannot.  So you refuse to tailor the world to financial profiteers because there has to be more.  You value beauty and independence and the experience of being human.

As a result, you sacrifice some creature comforts.  You bring back family heirlooms, and maybe even cloth diapers.  You catch the bus and occasionally catch a cold.  After all, it is the next you for whom you are really concerned.  The world in which the next you lives is not to be run by advertisers and big business because the previous you withdrew the power you once lent them.  You broke them with the law of supply and demand.

On this election day, forget voting.  Become incensed with billboards and commercials.  They’re patronizing you with their talk about dreams and passions.  Don’t let the indie music in the background fool you.  They’re just trying to sell you shit.  Fuck em.  Support the guy who doesn’t advertise.

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2 thoughts on “The only person who deserves my vote is me

  1. I’ve always admired and supported myself; said sans modesty. I would make an exceptional elected leader for the sensible and needed reasons you cite. Alas, the cesspool is presently too large, even for my swimming skills.

    You speak a language and share a message that resonates with this reader. You are on a laudable trajectory and it will be through your words and efforts that requisite change, for the better, will manifest. Here’s to your admirable front runner status.

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