Okay, you’re pissed at me and I’m pissed at you. You destroyed my ten-thousand dollar Chihuahua. The damages caused by your actions extend beyond the destruction of something with a certain value. You’ve also damaged a thing of which value is uncertain. Ahhh, the intangibles. Since I see the world through the filter of my inherent and personal biases, your actions were malicious and the damage to my peace of mind has been grave. I should know. It’s my peace of mind. Since you likewise see the world through a subjective filter, that Chihuahua was ugly, worthless, and if the chihuahua’s absence does not bother you a bit, the fact that it bothers me means I am beyond comprehension.
We arrived at this dispute because of our subjective, and divergent, interpretations of reality. So, the best way to resolve this dispute is to find an objective third party to view the same reality and tell us whose conduct is less reasonable. Certainly, a vague objective for the objective observer, but, living together with other humans beings in a fluid and ever-changing reality demands no more. To be reasonable is to follow the terms of the social contract you entered into with me, your neighbor with the chihuahua.
You were born and then chose to stick around, here, with the rest of us who made the same decision. Time, experience, and the wild west shootouts have taught us humans that a few simple boundaries, when respected, help everyone enjoy their earthly lives to a degree not truly appreciable unless such boundaries are absent.
In short: quit being a dick, you don’t know what comes next existentially. Our remaining time here is finite. So we both benefit from an expedient resolution, unless you simply engage in disputes to distract yourself from this truth, in which case I understand your weakness but I also must ensure I am fully compensated for the time you have robbed me of.
Now, to the matter of my ten-thousand dollar chihuahua. I’m not here to justify the concept of private property. That’s better left for the philosophers. But what we can say, today, objectively, is that this this land right here is my land, and that land is your land. The social compact we entered included the mutual stipulation to not enter onto another’s property, or fuck with their shit, in such a way as to harm the other’s enjoyment of it. Why? Because in exchange, they’ll do the same for you.
I’ll close with one final thought. Dispute resolution, in this reality, is typically a misnomer. Few genuine disputes between members of this society are actually “resolved.” Rather, the consequences of such disputes are mitigated, and that’s it. Then the world goes on as if nothing happened.
a world not yet in existence 